You'll Never Make it Alone

Doaily

I made this app because I wanted to share the to-do list system that has helped me stay accountable and get things done.

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No one's truly independent.

I know this in my head, but I haven't really internalized it.

I've always been prideful.

I value self-sufficiency.

I've built my life around the belief that I can figure things out and get things done "by myself". And the fact that I've done many things on my own—such as fully developing apps or building a physique I'm proud of—reinforces this.

“Why ask for help when I can do it myself?” That’s the voice I hear every time I’m stuck.

It's almost as if I have to hit a wall really hard before I actually ask for help and understand that my mindset is slowing me down.

Looking back, there are so many times when I could have gotten where I wanted to go faster if I had just asked for help. College is one example where it was a struggle, but I know now that it didn't have to be that way nor did it have to be alone.

That's what this letter is about—for you and for me.

We need each other.

Asking for help isn't weakness.

It's normal.

Well actually... I think it needs to be normalized.

//No Such Thing as Self-Made

The real is that every person who has "made it" has gotten help from someone: mentors, teachers, friends, or even the circumstances they were born into.

Success is always a team effort.

Even for me, when I make something out of myself from this basement where I'm writing this, it's not because it's all me.

My parents sacrificed everything for me to have a chance.

If you really want to break it down, my mom gave birth to me. None of the things I'm doing now would exist if it wasn't for her.

My dad, an engineer back home, and my mom, who ran her own business, left it all behind to give my siblings and I a better opportunity in Canada.

They gave up their careers and took on socially less-respected jobs here, all so that my siblings and I could have better opportunities.

Whatever I achieve, it’s because of my parents.

Their sacrifices are the foundation of everything I’ll ever build.

That also goes for my siblings, other family members, and friends.

That's why the idea of being self-made is BS in my opinion.

No one is truly independent.

//The Balance Between Self-Sufficiency and Asking for Help

I think self-sufficiency is still important.

You can't just rely on other people without putting in effort.

We've all experienced those people who ask for help, but don’t actually try. Like in high school, when someone wanted homework answers, but didn't care to actually learn the material.

That's not what I'm talking about.

There's a balance.

You need to be able to take initiative, but you also need to know when to lean on others.

Again, I'm really talking to myself here because this is a balance that I'm trying to learn.

You need your own drive, but you don't have to do it all alone.

Let me share something that happened recently.

A few days ago, a huge snowfall hit.

Early in the morning, I gave my dad a ride to work, and on the way back, I got stuck in a massive pile of snow.

It was 7 a.m. No one was really out and about yet.

So, I grabbed a shovel and started digging myself out of the situation. Two meters or so of snow that spans the street. Just me, a shovel, and the freaking cold.

After about 30 minutes of struggling, someone from the neighbourhood came out with a snowblower and started helping.

I didn’t ask for help (of course). I didn’t even think to.

But, they saw me struggling and decided to lend a hand.

That moment hit me.

We need each other.

Even when you think you can handle it alone, sometimes someone else’s help makes all the difference.

Again, this is as much for me as it is for you.

Ask for help when you need it.

Accept help when it’s offered.

That's it for this one.

— Renz